GOTHAM, US – This week, to no-one’s surprise Batman’s infamous bottom bitch comes out as bisexual. If the fluorescent colored tights, and obsession with a rich daddy dressed as a bat wasn’t obvious enough, this weeks announcement officially confirms it. Robin is the cuck twink that we all thought. In response to this news, The…
SAN DIEGO, CA – On Wednesday, a gorilla at the San Diego zoo tested positive for COVID-19. Doctors are baffled as the gorilla has been following quarantine restrictions since birth, and don’t understand how this could happen. One zoologist suggests, “Maybe our COVID protocols on the primate population aren’t strict enough. My professional opinion would…
LAS VEGAS, NV – Floyd “Money” Mayweather just announced via Instagram that he will be participated in a PPV spelling bee against popular child youtuber known as “Ryan’s Wolrd”. The celebrity spelling bee will be this summer at the MGM Grand Garden Arena, with the exact date to be announced in the coming days. Floyd…
LOS ANGELES, CA – Valentine’s Day is on the horizon, and the boyfriends that have remembered are in a frenzy to make a plan. This year the pressure is at an all time high due to the fact that lockdown restrictions have given guys limited options for the big date night. Local boyfriend named Daniel…
TORONTO, ON – A local former female named Destiny has recently come out a “Rubber Duck”. Destiny is currently undergoing transition, which includes lip injections, ass injections, and the ultimate goal of achieving a 50% body to plastic ratio. Destiny defended her decision in the following statement; “I always knew that I was a rubber…
WALL STREET, NY – Hedge fund managers show their true colours after repeatedly taking losses to their teenage counter parts. Instead of taking their losses on the chin like the rest of us, they decided to unplug the console and call it a “wash”. One 13-year-old stated, “One second I was slapping his old b*tch…
OSLO, Norway – The 2020 Nobel peace prize nominees got announced this past weekend. One of which included the Capitol Rioters, sparking some controversy amongst the keyboard warrior community. The Capitol Riots were known as a mostly peaceful event where a bunch of rednecks decided to go take selfies and mess up some rich white…
TORONTO, ON – World renown Chinese scientists have discovered that “anal swab testing” for Covid-19 is far more accurate than the traditional nasal test. They are moving forward with this form of testing with or without consent, as it is ethically the right thing to do to reduce the spread of Covid-19. We should follow…
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